My husband and I love watching “The Bachelor/The Bachelorette” together. I realized that a lot of couples are doing this and thought is would be fun to bring a little bit of a male’s perspective into “My Mommy Style.” So without further ado, here is Paul. Through his wit and charm it will be no wonder to you why I chose to marry him.
I am so honored, humbled, & surprised to be the first man to post on this blog. One thing Camille and I enjoy doing together, along with many other couples, is watching the Bachelor/Bachelorette. She has asked me to post the conversation that usually goes along while watching the show.
So let’s lay some ground rules. First, I have never actually watched the Bachelor/Bachelorette. Camille watches the show and I “occasionally see what’s going on.” Second, this writing assignment couldn’t have come during a worse season. Ever since Des was named the bachelorette I have predicted this to be the most boring season yet…err when I occasionally saw what was going on in the background. The previews look somewhat promising with the ex-girlfriend and ambulance (Is there going to be an ambulance in every season now? Maybe they should start incorporating these guys into the cast? Maybe a 2 for 1 and have one of the EMTs be one of the guys?) Third, something you have to understand about me is that I have no problem shamelessly plugging myself. I was heartbroken when the blog changed its name from thesolsticesisters to mymommystyle. I came up with the name thesolsticesisters and anxiously await its comeback. It’s still bookmarked on my computer as www.thesolsticesisters.com
Without further delay, let’s get to the action! The cursed first date is awarded to SLC’s very own Brooks. As in seasons past he is destined to fall in love, forget that there are 20 other guys, and get jealous when Des actually goes on dates with the other guys.
The date starts (in true bachelor fashion) at a wedding shoppe. Who doesn’t want to try on wedding dresses and tuxes on a first date? “I wanted to be spontaneous, and I really felt like we were newlyweds! “ Des exclaims. The date continues with Des and Brooks hiking to the Hollywood sign…and Brooks most certainly pitting out in his chic tuxedo. “I’m in a fairy tale…and having Brooks next to me is so special” (and smelly). Brooks puts his glistening arm around her, puckers his wet upper lip, and lays a smooch on her as the sun sets over the California sky.
They then cruise in their baby blue Bentley to a road block. They move the block, which prompts a response from Brooks of, “I was nervous to move those road blocks. My stomach was going up to my throat.” As they approached imminent death, Brooks’ anxiety was calmed by a mysterious candlelight dinner that Des set out in the middle of a bridge earlier that day 🙂 Brooks received a rose and in true Bachelor fashion, he states with full sincerity, “Today’s been the most magical day I’ve ever experienced.”
Meanwhile back at the mansion. Date Card!!! Mathematician Chris states, “I came here to spend time with Des and I’ve yet to get a date card.” The date is a rap session with Souldja Boy! Souldja Boy sells out all of the street cred he has left while performing the new hit single “Who’s here for the right reasons?” (see the full video at abc.com). All the bachelors participate, but the climax of the performance is Brandon “Briefs” (in our house all the bachelors receive nicknames) awkward half lap dance, half walking dead impression while wearing Chris Harrison’s used tighty-whiteys. Everyone is uncomfortable (including the now commando Chris Harrison), and the awkwardness doesn’t subside when Briefs exclaims, “it’s hard because there’s a lot of adjusting.”
Later in the date Zach “Abs” pulls Des aside and says to the camera, “I need this time to show her there’s more to me.” What says I care more than a 25 cent used journal from a thrift shop? Des loves this second-hand treasure when she exclaims, “Zach W. really blew me away tonight.”
The night takes a turn for the worse and the guys start honing in on Ben. “My intuition says he’s (Ben) not here for the right reasons,” mentions the Italian Stallion. Are you kidding me? A guy who parades his 4 year old on national TV to meet a total stranger with no regard for his child’s emotions? He is totally here for the right reasons. Ben solidifies this by first bringing up his adorable son with Des, and then using it to move in for a kiss.
Meanwhile, Briefs is doing his best zombie impression by creepily lurking in the shadows watching Ben and Des kissing.
Now it’s time for Bryden’s date………………..sorry, dozed off for a minute. Somebody please defibrillate this guy’s personality. I can’t think of a better road trip than with someone who’s responses include: yep, awesome, sounds perfect, wow. “Today was great because I could see a funnier and goofier side to Bryden,” Des exclaims. I couldn’t agree more, he had those convenience store owners rolling with his stone-face “thanks” response to buying treats.
“I used the military as a scapegoat to not get close to someone,” Bryden says in his best Ivan Drago voice. “Do you still use it as a scapegoat?” Des asked. Bryden then gave his goofiest, funniest response yet…a stoic no, not really.
Hot tub time (holla!). And the conversation keeps rolling with several awesome, wows, yeahs and long awkward pauses. Des is having none of this and says “Just kiss me already!”
Now for the rose ceremony…my favorite part to fast-forward! Des selects every one that was featured and even some guys I’ve never seen before. Her final selection is Briefs, which prompts him to say sighingly,”…Making me sweat”, which makes Des picture those dang tighty-whiteys. This no-doubtedly makes everyone feel awkward including the still-commando Chris Harrison.
So this ends my recap of episode 2. I hope you enjoyed and will comment. Even though I’m still predicting this to be the most boring season yet, I will still watch…occasionally in the background.
In our house we always try to predict who will win. I had an incredible streak going until I was recently duped by Tiara in Shawn’s season. She seemed like such the lovable southern belle in the first episode…boy was I wrong on that one. My pick for this season is Drew. The lovable Clark Kent comb-over from Arizona. He was definitely featured in many previews, which probably means he will lose but that’s my pick.
Hello! I am Camille, a wife, mother of four, Disney obsessed, certified teacher, and believer in creating your best momlife the way you see fit. Motherhood comes with its ups and downs, my hope is you’ll find something here to make your life a little better/easier. Let’s be friends on social!
Hilarious! Happy to see you on the blog Paul.
I wish I could watch the show with you! haha that was awesome!
This is so awesome! Made me laugh so hard!
Hahaha! I had a lot o those comments myself while I watched it, but I still feel the need to watch it. Hope this is a weekly post