I remember when I was young, feeling like all those old people had it figured out, right? When you get old, nobody fights anymore, steals, lies, nobody talks about people behind their backs – like in high school, things just make sense, and at some point you just fall into an “adult normal” whatever that is.
Oh, how wrong I was. If anything, it’s worse. Adults are just older kids, with less of an excuse to act like they do. Nothing gets more simple, only more complicated. You are expected to act like an “adult” whatever that is, while raising a bunch of kids.
To put it simple, adults are nothing but children in older bodies – with a little more life experience, and that doesn’t necessarily always help the situation out. I believe the goal in life, is to retain the simplicity and simple joys of childhood, as we grow and have more reason to lose them through hard life’s lessons.
I wish I was coming to you with answers, but today I am not. Only more questions.
I believe we have an eternity to work through all of our questions and issues, and that’s a good thing. Progression doesn’t stop at death, nor did it begin at birth. We are beings that go on forever – with lots to learn. My hope is that I’ll be patient enough with myself and others, to enjoy the ride. Enjoying the journey is the only way to truly thrive. It’s not always easy to do.
One way I’ve found to do this very hard task, is to stop trying to make other people happy. It’s an impossible task. Of course, we want to work so that our relationships are happy, but at the end of the day, all we have control over anyway, are ourselves. I am very good at letting my mood follow others around me, but really this is torturous. Why would it make sense that we should feel how other people do? How is that fair to us? I am speaking form experience, I am a typical enabler. I have to work really hard to let others go where they need to go with their mood, and be okay with it – as I move on with my own mood. I am getting better – but it takes practice. I’m not saying to not be empathetic, I’m just saying to pay attention to where are moods are coming from. It’s easy to be affected by someone that’s in a bad mood, and then without even realizing it, we are taking it out on someone else when it wasn’t even our mood to start with.
Having so many daughters could be completely torturous if I didn’t practice this skill. Depending on the time of the month – heck, time of the day – the mood of the people around me, including my husband, is all over the map. I have enough of my own emotions without jumping on whatever band wagon the rest of them are on.
Why am I rambling? I guess it’s for myself, because heaven knows if you are still reading these random thoughts, you must be as lost in your thoughts as I am. I’m pretty sure these are the kinds of things a mother of teenagers asks. I’ve moved out of the diaper/bottle/nursing toddler phase and into raising “adults”.
Whatever that is.