Managing our Thoughts, to Be Happy

Written by: Janae

Are you ever shocked by the thoughts that randomly pop into your brain?  I am.  Descartes, father of modern philosophy, shared the thought, “I think.  Therefore, I am.”  He couldn’t have been more right.

Until we learn to control our mind, the experiences in our world around us will be a mere reflection of it. If we see the world as judgmental, scary, mean, or rude, why is this? Have you ever wondered why? Is it the way the world really is, or is it the way that you really are? Sometimes, we project onto the world and other people, the negative emotions and thoughts, that we cannot admit or won’t acknowledge.

So, how do we keep the memories of  people and things strong, that we want to remember – while letting pain go that hurts us, letting it fade, while remembering the lessons learned from the experience?

I believe it is a choice.  Have you ever stopped and listened to your brain chatter, when you’re busy doing any random thing – and  you realize you are actually talking to yourself, all the time?  Please tell me I’m not alone here.  Some people call it “self talk”, and it’s a very real thing.  Sometimes, I find that I’m humming a song without realizing it, and other times I’m ripping on someone.  But a lot of the time, I hear myself trash talking someone very important – myself.

The fact that we can reflect and sometimes regret the past, imagine the future and sometimes fear it, can be a curse and something we all live with and try to escape from, almost continuously. So, how do we choose the things we think?

Meditate Daily. I know some people say that this isn’t possible for them and that it doesn’t work (even myself sometimes) but it is worth the practice.  So much of our thinking is deceitful and wrong, and that is the first thing we need to figure out how to change. Find a place that is calming to you, and spend some time each day reflecting on what is important to you.

Observe Your Thoughts. Pay attention to how many times negative thoughts pop into your head, and affects the way you feel.  Let’s say, someone in your family or work environment is driving you crazy and you realize a random thought pops into your head, pay attention to how it makes you feel – and if it even makes the situation worse than it was to begin with.

Instead of judging yourself harshly for the thought that you had, realize that it is neither right or wrong, but it’s what you choose to do with that thought that matters.  In the words of Martin Luther King, “You cannot keep a bird from flying over your head; What you can do is prevent it from building a nest in your hair.”

Cultivate the space between your thoughts.  Once you observe the things that you are thinking, focus on filling the space with good things.  Choose things that build you, and not tear you down.  Things like good books, music, exercise, whatever it is that clears your mind.  Repeat positive things to yourself or lyrics to good songs.  Why is this so important?  Because it’s the only way to be happy – managing your mind.  Eckhart Tolle in A New Earth wrote, “The problem most  people have is not thinking; it is not knowing how to stop thinking.”

Let’s all have a great week, and work on controlling our thoughts and emotions.  It’s one way to be happier, and I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like to be happy!