If You Give a Girl a Shoe

If you give a pig a pancake: My Mommy Style version

If you give a girl a girl some new rockin’ high heels,

she’ll ask you for an outfit to go with it.

 When you give her the outfit,

she’ll need a new bra

and she might just complain about the size you bought

because it was either too big or too small,

so you’ll need to buy her a gym membership.

 When you pony up and give her a gym membership,

she will get so excited

that she will want some exercise clothes and shoes.

When you find the perfect blue shoes,

she will need a friend to visit the gym with so she doesn’t feel alone,

and a new blue phone to call her friend to coordinate driving.

She’ll probably need to start counting calories,

so she’ll start picking healthy foods that make everyone annoyed at dinner time.

She might do a dance because she is so excited,

and even a few jumping jacks.

but then she’ll need to celebrate after one week of exercise and eating healthy

on a regular basis, so you’ll need to take her out to dinner

in her new high heels.

At dinner she will eat way too many yummy fattening fried foolish foods

and become depressed that she lost control,

so she’ll need to eat more desert than ever

because she feels like a failure.

Then she’ll need a scale to see what the weekend splurge has done to her.

She will need lots of encouragement from you,

even though you saw her eat all that food

so you will need to be a good liar

and tell her she didn’t eat as much as she thinks she did.

When you tell her what she needs to hear,

she will know for sure that you are lying,

and call you a liar.

When she does this,

she’ll need a big bear hug with no excuses attached.

Then she’ll need just a little chocolate that day to make her feel better.

When Monday rolls around

she will need to eat healthy again

 so she’ll ask you for your support, and to make her feel better

with a new pair of high heels.

And chances are,

if she asks you for the high heels

you will need to buy her a new outfit.

okay, okay, I’m being just a little over the top here, but I think it’s make fun of a cycle I see so many women, (including myself) do all the time.  We are funny creatures, aren’t we?  It’s no wonder we drive men crazy!  Oh, and here are some $8.00 shoes I bought a few days ago from Target that I wore last night.  Good thing I didn’t have to walk very far.  They are most definitely sitting shoes, if you know what I mean.

Oh, and while I’m at it, I bought these next shoes from Rite-Aid a few months back, also for $8.00! (I’m not always this lucky)

And then, as I was randomly looking through my phone for some shoes pictures, I actually really did find these deserts I had eaten for fun with my hubby while out on dates!

Okay, maybe my story was a little more true than I thought 😉