Hot and Steamy meets Hot Mess (and kind of loving it!)

Remember when you were DOING this rather than watching this?

In a perfect world, everyday romance would be like the movies. That weak in the knees, breathless kind of romance that kept you up all night thinking of him and the rush of warmth you felt as you sank into his embrace.  At the time you were thinking as he clutched you tighter, “Oh, please don’t ever let go…also, please don’t let me fart!” But somewhere down the line, after all the champagne colored embraces and glitter wears off, something else happens. It’s called life, and it happens between the wise-cracking, baby-making, crazy-acting, butt-slapping good times.   You no longer politely hold in your flatulence, rather you make a game of it, like putting on your hottest lingerie, climbing into bed and giving your lover the “come hither” smokey glance, and pulling a covered wagon!  Sexy with a dash of gross!  And guess what, despite the fact that you all just vomited a little in your mouth, you’re still gonna do it.  Because that’s life and it’s real.  And it’s kind of Awesome.

Sometimes I think I miss the rush of the newness, and all that swoony, flower-filled, constantly trying to impress romance; I am a girl after all.  But then I remember all the crazy ups and downs and drama, DRAMA, d.r.a.m.a. that came along with that time of my life.  It’s nice to come home after a long, busy day and unload on my spouse while I strip down to my skivvies, I wash off the make-up and I don’t even care that I’m bending over naked! *Gasp in horror!* He’s my best friend in the whole world!  We do everything together; we play, we fight, we gain and lose weight…and…gain it again.  We lie in bed Saturday mornings, each with a baby on our chest and a toddler in the middle, laughing hysterically because the hubs just got spit-up in his mouth! We send flirty messages during the day…even some on accident. (For my more innocent readers, please don’t be offended, this was completely on accident!)

Just to translate, I was HOLDING a naked baby, wanting hubby’s help. Then I dropped the phone to catch a slippery baby sliding off his tub seat!! Jeez!

We talk till all hours of the night together, we get mad over who’s turn it is to do dishes…laundry…stay up with the babies…(we really should write this crap down because someone always “conveniently” forgets it’s their night)! And sex is still hot and steamy, if not but a bit more humorous.  It’s unbearably funny when you’re sitting there, mid-stride, daring each other not to breath as the door handle jiggles and a sweet little voice says, “Mommy, where are you?”  Life looks a little less like the hot photo from The Notebook, and a little more like the photo below.

We’re exhausted and ornery at times, but we’re still each other’s biggest fans.  I’d like to say we’re the couple that has a weekly date night; we actually used to have tri-weekly date nights or more pre-kids! But we have always been the worst at getting sitters.  I had a bad experience once (nothing terrible, but the sitter was frustrating and gave me a really bad taste in my mouth about sitters in general) and I’ve had very few since.  We don’t live at all close to family, and when we do see family, it’s brief and we want to spend time with them so we don’t take advantage of the trusted sitters.  And now that we have the twins, I may trust someone to take care of and NOT kill one of my dear littlies, but I don’t trust that they can handle all three with sanity. So yeah, we don’t go out much alone.  In fact, just once since the birth of the twins!!  And they’re 6 months old now. Ugh.  BUT what we often do is get the babies and kiddo in bed early and rent a movie off Vudu, make shakes and then shake it up later in the bedroom.  We go for hikes; we have picnics in the family room while we giggle over the oddity that is our life!  We still have almost daily conversations about “what we’re going to do when we grow up,” because at 28, I am SOOOO not grown up yet! LOL And I still look at my family each day in amazement wondering how this little miracle happened.  It’s kind of perfect in its imperfection.

So what are we doing on Valentine’s Day this year?  It’ll likely be spent doing something nice for each other and maybe go out for lunch to avoid the crowds.  Then we’ll spend the evening falling deeper in love with our babies, gushing over each chirp and gurgle.  We’ll each sit with a baby, patting and rocking those gassy little things, get puked on for the 13th time that day, play some mad Go Fish with a snarky little 3 year old, and yes, catch up on laundry.  But later, we’ll quietly wait till there’s no more stirring and we can hear the heavy breathing of three little babes and know that if nothing else, we’ve done at least three things right.

This time of life is exhausting and difficult and WONDERFUL and as the babes get older, certain aspects will get easier (and some much harder I know!) but It really is so important to make the most of it.  And so, I’m curious, what are your big Valentine’s plans? And what do you do to keep the romance alive?


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  • Cassia, I absolutely LOVED this post. Thank you for sharing it! There are moments when I just cannot fathom how marriages can make it and love can continue once the excitement and newness of it all wears off…and those are the moments I think, “Hmmm… maybe I’m just better off living this content single life where I can do what I want, when I want.” But you just reminded me there’s so much more to life then doing what WE want. 🙂 Thank you!ReplyCancel

  • Cassia

    Katie, you are so dang beautiful and awesome! Enjoy the newness you get to experience!! It comes and goes too quickly, but yes, the next part is oh so fun too!
    Thank you for commenting, I hope it wasn’t TMI!!!?? LolReplyCancel

  • This was perfect hahah so funny. I’ve had some pretty x rated text accident issues as well, some with my sister!ReplyCancel

  • Mandy

    I love this post! I love the honesty! I love the humor! Brilliantly written as always Cass- thanks for making me smile and laugh out loud more than once 😉ReplyCancel

  • Karie

    So funny and so true. At 55 I still worry about the door jiggling…… Thankfully we can lock it but it sends the true message. Oh well, teenagers need to know their parents LOVE each other.ReplyCancel

  • Cassia Denton

    Oh mom, I just love you! You are so funny and YES, it’s fantastic to know that my parents are still so deeply in love!! You’re my greatest examples! Love you!ReplyCancel

  • LOVE IT! Especially the door jiggling part…and then the hastily throwing clothes on halfway to get up and take care of a throwing up child…and somehow trying to get back “in the mood” marriage is awesome and movies are stupid- the the real thing is so much better!ReplyCancel

  • Cassia Denton

    Oh my goodnes Leesh, I’ve totally been there with the mopping up vomit with whatever is close by!! Hahaha you are right, it is way better! And way funnier too!ReplyCancel

  • Whitney Denton

    Cassia I LOVED your post! I used to think that being truly romantic meant booking a room at the Anniversary Inn and staying up all night…. and now I believe its purely enjoying what is at home, in any shape or form. XOXOXOXOReplyCancel

  • Wyatt

    Hey Cass;

    I just thought I’d let you know how often Whitney and I laughed while reading this post. It’s amazing how true it is that the more you spend time with that one person you love the more funny and fulfilling life gets. Yesterday Whit and I went on a walk with Jet being dragged behind us on a sled. He was wailing the whole time but that and all the other countless times we’re doing things together, even if we’re fighting or Jet’s crying it makes life all that much sweeter.

    Just thought I’d let you know how much we agree.

    Wyatt and WhitneyReplyCancel

    • Cassia Denton

      You guys are just so awesome!! Oh how I wish we lived closer!! Thanks for reading and for the comments! xoxReplyCancel

  • Sheryl

    I think I may have pulled a muscle trying to suppress my hysterical laughter so I wouldn’t wake my sleeping toddler! What a fun writer you are! :). Happy Valentine’s Day!ReplyCancel

  • JoAnne

    So cute and perfectly on!ReplyCancel


MyMommyStyle Meet Camille

Hello! I am Camille, a wife, mother of four, Disney obsessed, certified teacher, and reality optimist. Motherhood comes with its ups and downs, and I hope while you're here you'll find something that makes your #momlife easier!


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