It’s that time of year again, when I reflect on the past year and look forward to a Happy New Year! I’ve always tried to be a good mom to you. I haven’t always succeeded – but I have truly done my best. There are days that I am tired and other times when I have more energy and I can accomplish a lot more and be tons of fun! Most days, I feel settled and calm at the end of the day, because I’ve tried. And then, there are the days that I wonder why I’ve been entrusted with your beautiful spirits and helping to guide you through this crazy world.
I look around, and I wonder how you will ever make it through the intense commotion and distractions in life. I know, because I deal with this myself, everyday. There are so many good things that can be done with each hour, each day and it is my job to guide you through these decisions while you are young, and then pray like mad that you will grasp the principles that will bring happiness into your life.
We all fail. We all try hard and fall short. We all become discouraged and depressed at times. It can feel crushing, like no matter how hard you try, it will never be good enough. Sometimes the person that will be the hardest on you, is yourself. In fact I’d bet that it’s this way most of the time. And although this can be a healthy guide to follow as you listen to your inner spirit and pray to your Heavenly Parents above – it can also be a pitfall that can trap you into an endless darkness that controls your happiness.
It is important to be conscious of the way you let this control your emotions and self worth. We are given our free agency, so we can learn from our decisions, the good and the bad. Let that be a beautiful thing. Be a little easier on yourself. Because if you don’t, you can let the normal experiences in this world take you to a sad place instead of a place of growth. I know these things, because I have lived in both worlds.
Although I can’t live your life for you, I promise to do the things that I believe will help you the most.
I’ve learned that when I greet you by name, each day, you get see the love in my eyes. You will understand that I see you as an individual and that there is an innate beauty, that I can’t claim. You came to earth this way, and I feel so blessed that you have. It is my pleasure to have held you in my body and given the best of myself, physically and emotionally. I am a small part of the beginning of your development, and I am the largest. Your father and I love you, and we promise to call you by name.
I’ve learned that it is important to feed you with nourishment in sustenance and laughter, each day. I can’t claim to be Betty Crocker – but I can decide to feed your soul with laughter and love, and the best food I can provide. Sometimes, we will be laughing together, and other times we will be laughing at each other because of our pathetic attempts to navigate this life. But we will laugh, and together we can work to keep it in a positive light. Life is meant to be enjoyed – even through pain. I have been in pain before, and the way I worked through it was to look into the eyes of the people I love the most, and hug them. Babies are the best for snuggling and seeing a happiness and beauty, that sometimes as adults we forget is always there.
I promise to read with you. Snuggling up on a bed, wrapped together in blankets and holding a book, is very powerful. We feel each other’s warmth and together we go on a journey through the pages. We discover how life can look through other peoples eyes, so we learn never to judge others. We understand that everyone has an individual set of circumstances and experiences. We set out on adventures together, that we can’t always get at home. As we study characters in the stories, we find ourselves. We learn to appreciate and encourage each other. We learn to serve.
And lastly, I promise to pray each day. I have found the importance of doing everything I can, and then turning the rest over to Jesus Christ. I want you to develop a faith of your own, and I know this can happen through prayer and studying the words of wonderful leaders, men and women that have lived in all countries, ages, colors, times and religions. Prayer helps us to slow down, if only for a moment and give thanks. If we are grateful and ask for guidance, we will feel peace. We will understand that giving our best, is enough. We will also understand that letting others give their best, is enough.
Happy New Year, my beautiful babies. No matter how old you become, you will always be held close in my heart and in the heart of your dad. You are a piece of us, the best piece.
written by: Janae Moss