It’s Christmas Eve

It’s 6:00 a.m. and I can’t sleep.

I’m not sure if it’s because I have so much to do today and my brain is busy – or that I’m actually a really old kid that is excited beyond sleep. It’s probably both.

My house is full of people, including my kids, son in law and grand baby, Emma. My closets are full of gifts, just waiting to be wrapped, and my heart is full of happy. Life is a funny thing because it always seems to settle down, even after the biggest storms, if we let it.

Last night, we enjoyed our family Christmas party at my in-laws. Kids were running around bumping into people, people were eating yummy food and telling stories, the teenagers kept checking their phones for the latest updates. Grandma had made a wonderful smelling turkey, the Aunts and Uncles had brought yummy dishes to share – and I brought the most perfect tasting desserts from Kneaders Bakery. Come on, if you know me in real life – you know I didn’t bake the key lime and peanut butter moose pie.

It was an epic Christmas site to behold. I glanced across the great room and saw my favorite part of the night. Jon was laying on the couch with our grand baby, Emma. She was snuggled up on his belly and Jon was in heaven. He was making her laugh and smile – or was it that Emma was making Jon laugh and smile? That’s the funny thing about babies, you never really know. What mattered was that all of crazy hard years of raising a daughter with an ex,  had paid off. Everything had come full circle – and all of those things had faded into the past.

Sharing holiday time, alternating weekends and Wednesdays, driving so many miles at all hours of the day – to return “home” whichever she was calling “home” on that particular day, dealing with really hard feelings that a child of split parents has to endure, missed experiences, experiencing too many things – all of this was finally in the past. Syd is in a happy marriage of her own, and is caring for the most beautiful baby in the world, with a husband that we love like our own son.

I’m sure all of Sydney’s parents could sit around and tell stories that would make your blood boil,  but none of that matters. It is a storm that has passed, and we’ve let it. Now we get to enjoy the most beautiful part of parenthood, the grand children. Don’t get me wrong – I love being a mom of many at home – but it’s so fun to get a little glimpse into what can happen after my other babies grow up. They will become wonderful adults and have their own babies to raise.

Enjoy your Christmas. I know I will. Hold onto every minute of the crazy, chaos infested house – and love. Snuggle your little ones close, and realize they grow up so fast. Christmas will be messy, heck – life is messy – but the good parts stay and that hard parts settle, if we let them. So let them. Don’t let old feelings fester into the New Year. Give yourself a clean slate and use all of those feelings where they can actually make a difference, right now.


Merry Christmas!