Happy Birthday Grandpa

The words Grandma and Grandpa, have a new meaning to me now, as my children begin to have babies.

Until recently, grandparents seemed so old and I felt as though I’d never get to that stage in my life.  I am a very young grandma, with Sydney being my step child, but it is what it is – I claim the title, because I claim Syd, as one of my own.  I love that little baby so much, and she is just one of many.  I pray to be the kind of Grandma that really has a relationship with my grandkids.  I want to invite them for sleepovers and movie dates.  I’d like to have tea parties and shopping trips.  I hope to visit their school performances and dance recitals.  I know this will be a stretch with so many, but I hope my health is good enough that I can try.

More than anything, I hope to be like my Grandpa.  It would have been his eighty-ninth birthday today, and I can barely believe he has been gone for 18 years!  Kinley is the only Grandchild he held before his health started declining rapidly.  And then, he was gone.  I wasn’t there for his death.  Some of the Grandchildren were, but being the oldest grandchild and living away at college – I didn’t make it back in time.  I wish I had.  I wish I could of rubbed his feet one more time and leaned up next to him where it was safe.  It’s crazy how much of an impression he had on me, at such a young age.  I believe he had a huge impact on the way I strive to live my life, even to this day.

My Grandpa had an amazing quality of finding the best in people and focusing on that aspect of their personality. True, Christ like love. All people that chose to be around him, were filled with strength and walked a little taller on the way out the door, then when they had walked in.  He showed every person his love in many ways, and I have many special memories with him, but most importantly, he lived life in a ways that built and strengthened all around him. He didn’t waste time thinking of himself, only of others.  He worked tirelessly to support his family and friends.  He was giving, almost to a fault.  He was funny and loud at times, when his voice proceeded our entrance.  “Where’s my Janae!?”

I’m sure he is watching from above, I’m actually positive.  He would never choose to leave us alone here for too long.  I’d like to think that he will kiss my grand babies before they leave Heaven, and enter our world.  I’d like to believe that he loves them, just as much as I do.  I’m sure he loves me, still, even though I can’t see him.  I feel his presence.  I know he is proud of me, because I know now, being a parent and grandparent, that I couldn’t be anything but proud of my kids and grandchildren, even when they mess up.  They are a piece of us.  We are a piece of him.  I’d even go as far as to say that I believe he will read these words.  He knows I am thinking of him today, and every time I find a penny lying on the ground, or smell lilacs or oranges. I think of him and his example when I make decisions that will change my life, and the life of my family.

I feel grateful to have him in my life, in my heart, and in my soul – because he is actually part of me, as I will be a part of my posterity.  Family, the greatest blessing of all.

Happy Birthday Grandpa Gourley!

I miss you immensely,

and love you always.

Love your first Grand baby,

Janae.