Do you ever look at your spouse and wonder who they are?
You would think after dating for two and a half years, and being married for eighteen, that you would. You’ve been with them for twenty birthdays, Easters, and Halloweens. You’ve seen them sick, happy, mad, confused, tired, hyper, funny, forgetful, and annoying. You’ve supported each other through thick and thin. But what I’ve realized after almost twenty years of marriage, is that the only thing you can consistently plan on, is change.
I am not the same person I was when I married Jon, and he isn’t the same Jon. Experiences change you. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it just means that it makes relationships interesting. We have to be tireless in understanding where the other person is coming from, and have so much patience. We have to keep looking for the things we understand, and not give up on the things we don’t.
It’s almost Father’s Day, and dads everywhere are receiving gifts from their families. Ties, food, electronics, hand written notes or whatever other concoction we come up with to share our love. I am also at a loss as to what to get Jon. He has pretty much whatever he needs, and I can only give him socks for so many years in a row, until it just isn’t cool anymore. (as if it were in the first place)
So today, I reflect.
I realize I’ve been so blessed to have a husband that cares for me, always. He has been the Father of my children, my friend, and my support system. We have different strengths and weaknesses, as all couples do, but together – we love our children more than anything in the world. They are beautiful and maddening, all at the same time. LIfe is messy, and what once was just us “Jon and Janae” has turned into Jon and Janae plus SIX daughters and ONE adopted son, which has now turned into one son in law and our first Grand baby. She is the first of many…I can only imagine how many feet will be running around my Grandma Gigi home someday.
We are multiplying, kind of like gremlins. You know those odd, freaky creatures on that old movie? Yah, like that. Pop, pop, pop… 1234567… and our house is full. With each new addition to our family, comes a bigger dynamic. More personalities to understand and love. More support for each other in times of need. I guess this is why I love big families. If we continually work on understanding each other, working together and playing together, we build a structure that is solid. It is messy, it always is – but it is beautiful.
Well, I’m off to buy some socks. Have a beautiful Friday!