MOMentity – What to do when being a mom doesn’t feel like enough

Did you know motherhood would be so hard? I was sorely unprepared for the difficulty of the task. If anyone prepped me, I didn’t listen. And as a mom, I’ve had a breakdown or two (or twelve hundred). The biggest of which happened 18 months ago. Where do I begin…

I met my husband downtown for our Valentine’s lunch date. The restaurant was fancy, the food was excellent and the company even better. But the minute he asked me how I was doing, I couldn’t hold back the tears. I lost it right there, all over my filet.

I had been in and out of tears for weeks. I found my mind wondering to pre-children days and lost all desire to get down on the floor and play with my babies. At the time, I had a 7-year-old, 4-year-old and 18-month old twins. It felt like such a burden to care for them. Can you believe they wanted to eat THREE times a day?

In that moment of ugly tears (you know the kind I’m talking about), I thought, “I should be happier than this.” I was surrounded by blessings. So why did I feel such an empty spot? I realized I loved my kids, my husband even my life, but I no longer loved ME in my life. Where had Nicole gone? I was no more than a diaper-changing, laundry-cycling shadow of who I use to be.

My husband and I had a great conversation that afternoon.  And I had an aw-haw moment. I realized the admiration he had for me. I realized how important I was to my children. I remembered the value I once saw in myself. How had I forgotten? In that moment, I declared: I Am Valuable.

“I Am Valuable” became MOM Resolution No. 1 and four months later, MOMentity was founded to reach out to all the other moms who feel lost or buried in motherhood. (I know you’re out there!)

On my site, I offer a totally free Mom Relief Kit that you can download. It walks you through the same 6 steps I used to find my way out of my funk and fast.

Do you know that YOU are valuable too? You mean so much to your families, so much to your children, so much to your Divine Creator. You have strengths and gifts unique to you and that gift mix is what makes you a life-line to those around you.

Why do we moms not have higher self-worth? I believe it’s because we have too many false ideals of what “perfect” is or should be.  THERE IS NO PERFECT. So where do we start? How do we begin to find our value as a person again?

1. STOP comparing yourself to others

When we compare, we are judging our weaknesses against someone else’s strengths.  We would never allow our children to do this, so why do we allow ourselves. That perfect pantry picture on Pinterest has been staged. And even if it wasn’t, organizing a pantry may not be your thing but I bet you grow an incredible garden or knocked your sales presentation out of the park!

You become your worst enemy when you compare. So take a deep breath and find peace with where you are at in life right now. Doesn’t that feel better?

2. Focus on your strengths

Focus on your strengths and how you can use them to bless those around you. Do compare who you are now with who you know you can become.  Remember that your children are relying on you to be the best you so they can be the best them. You have amazing strengths, I know you do! So let your talents shine and be authentic.

It’s time you too remember: You are valuable! YOU are worth it!

So tell me, what are your strengths? Do YOU know you are valuable?